From Scientist to Creative Coach: Alexandra Reid's Journey to Combat Burnout

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Living the Dream Podcast with Curveball. If you believe, you can achieve.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome to the Living the Dream with Curveball Podcast. A show where I interview guests that teach, motivate, and inspire. Today's guest is Lexi Reed, a former research scientist who knows that even the most capable, successful, and responsible women can also get overwhelmed, exhausted, and burnt out through her work. She helps women through creativity, relieve stress, and achieve personal clarity. Her message is simple but powerful. Success does not have to cost you health, energy, and well-being. So we're going to be talking to Lexi about her work and everything that she's up to and gonna be up to. So, Lexi, thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

No, thank you for having me. Looking forward to our conversation.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Sure. Um, so I am very much uh I would say a renaissance woman. I am uh an artist, uh, but also a scientist. And so I did the typical academic up the ladder. I did a bachelor's, a master's, a PhD, a postdoc, uh, and I was studying plant molecular biology. So um did a couple of patents and then decided that I didn't want to be in the lab anymore. Um I didn't want to be doing the experiments, and so I sort of transitioned to work for a not-for-profit, then the federal government, and I was helping other scientists uh fund their research. I was uh grants officer. And that led me to business development and more of a corporate consulting position. Um and that's where I encountered burnout. Um, but I didn't have a name for it when I encountered it. I was working for a medical device company. We'd landed a very large government contract to build uh ventilators. So this was back in the early days of the pandemic when we didn't have uh vaccines. And so, you know, we were rushing to get these ventilators in uh the hands of the public just in case there was a you know a health emergency, uh, more than there was. And I was working pretty much 24-7. I had my, you know, I was working from home like everybody else. I had my kids, one in middle school, one in high school, um, trying to do all the things. And, you know, it's much like they talk about boiling the frog. You don't notice that you're slowly being boiled until the water is, you know, boiling. And for me, it it was just a breaking point. I I felt like everything was numb, everything was gray. And then it slipped from being gray to just being, you know, I almost felt angry about everything. It was like everybody was getting on my last nerve. And I thought, I can't keep going through life this way. This is this is crazy. So I thought I'm gonna look into art therapy because I was an artist, and that led me to coaching. And I really like coaching for the positive mindset. And I thought, you know, if I can marry my creativity with coaching, I think it'd be really powerful. And I started using it on myself and trying different activities. And then I started working with other women in STEM, so science, technology, engineering, and math. And so many of them had pushed creativity and play away. And by working with me, either one-on-one or in a group, we managed to, you know, do simple exercises. You know, we're talking pictionary-level drawing, not, you know, high fine art by any means, but by getting their thoughts onto paper, we could take a look at them and discuss them. And yeah, that's what led me to becoming a creative wellness coach.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

All right. Well many women appear successful and high functioning on the outside while struggling with with stress and exhaustion, exhaustion privately. Why do you think this has become so common?

SPEAKER_02 4:29

It's definitely cultural. I think as women, we are expected to be caregivers, whether that's of children, whether it's of elderly parents. Even in a workplace environment, we're often expected to volunteer for committees, uh, doing a lot of what they call the invisible labor, uh, and then still expected to excel at our jobs, be professional, keep our emotions under wrap, you know, keep calm, cool, collected. Um, so a lot of women, you know, feel that they can't be, you know, themselves at work and, you know, they're authentic selves and they have to be professional at all times and quote, look their best at all times. And it's hard. It's it's a lot of, I would say, if you took the same position and a man and a woman were doing it, and actually asked them where they spent their time, and that's one of the exercises I do with the my clients is we we draw a 24-hour clock of all the things we think we should be doing, and very little comes up that involves, you know, resting, eating, uh, because there's so much expectation to complete all these tasks, and then and we feel bad letting people down. That's another cultural expectation. Um, you know, we're people pleasers, and we we don't feel that we are able to say no, even though we know we don't have the bandwidth for it. And yeah, that's where a lot of that stress builds up, and eventually it will take a physical toll on you for sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Well, what are some of the early warning signs that someone is facing or approaching burnout, but they might not recognize it definitely will creep up on you.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Um, disrupted sleep or feeling that your brain won't turn off, the racing brain, you know, the you go to sleep thinking about all the stuff you didn't get done, and you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about all the stuff you need to start in the morning. Um, also just the feeling that you're often going on autopilot. Um, that's you know, you don't remember how you got from one place to another place because you're too busy thinking about something else. Realizing that you're having conversations with your partner, your children, and you don't actually listen to what they're saying because you're too busy thinking of what you should be doing. Um, you know, racing to the next activity, whether that's you know, driving your kids to their extracurricular activities or rushing to the grocery store because you got to rush home to make dinner and then you need to go out the door again. Or, you know, after the kids have gone to bed, you sit down at your computer and you bang out the next email because you didn't have a chance to do that in your day. So it's when you again, it's you need to take stock of where your effort is going. And a lot of women don't realize that they've pretty much emptied what I call, you know, you have to fill the well, you have to fill the cup of things that you like doing to renew yourself. And realizing, yeah, you've left nothing else in the tank. And what happens is you do start being short with your family members. You start dropping tasks, you start forgetting things, and you know, the colors seem to drain out. You know, you don't find things that make you laugh anymore, you don't find joy in simple things anymore. You know, you're probably not eating properly because you're so rushed that you're just starting to eat junk food. And so all of these things are start having ripple effects for sure.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Well, I know you talk about creativity being a powerful tool for stress relief. So talk about why you feel drawing and visual recreation is such a powerful tool for our emotional and mental state.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Yes. Well, a lot of what I do, again, is very simple with um the women. It's drawing basic thoughts and feelings that you're having about a challenge that you might be facing, but giving it a little bit of a theme. So one one of the exercises I do is called the bridge. And on one side of the shore, I have them draw whatever is their, you know, biggest challenge that they feel is insurmountable. And on the opposite side of the shore, I have them draw what an ideal day could look like. And it's going to be different for everyone, but the interesting thing is then I have them draw the bridge and any obstacles that's beneath the bridge. Um, they can pick any type of bridge. And what comes up a lot is these women draw these rickety wooden plank bridges with planks missing and ropes and they're over rapids or sharp rocks. And then I ask them where they are on their bridge, and they're like, look, I haven't even stepped onto the bridge yet. I'm, you know, I'm staring at the bridge, trying to figure out how to get across. And it's funny that, you know, they could draw any bridge. They could draw the Golden Gate Bridge, they could draw a drawbridge, and everyone seems to be drawn to this hardship that they're they're facing right now, and trying to figure out how to get to that the good side, basically. Um, and that's just one simple example where what's interesting is also seeing what they put down and what obstacles they're facing. And I had one woman draw rapids under her bridge, and she says, like, I can't even swim. I don't know why I drew something that I'm worried about that I'd fall into. Another woman said, There's a troll under my bridge, and we talked about that. She's like, I think I'm the troll, and I'm holding myself back from from what I want to do. So one part of the activity is the drawing, the symbolism, and what things come up for you. Another part is looking at why did you choose those things and why did you, what did you forget to draw? What do you wish you'd added? Um, and then talking about it. And it's it's seeing the intangible made tangible on a piece of paper. It's a snapshot of what you're thinking and feeling at the time. And the best thing about drawings is you can put them away for a month, three months, a year, and they'll bring you right back to what you're feeling and thinking at the time. And what's, you know, I do a lot of follow-up calls with the women I've worked with. And what's interesting is they can say, I know how I was feeling then, and thankfully I'm not feeling that now. But if I look at the drawing, I remember why I drew it.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Well, why do you feel uh women out there who are ambitious and analytical and used to solving problems, why do you feel like uh it's so hard for them to slow down and reconnect with themselves?

SPEAKER_02 11:20

It's very much a I would say that it comes from school, right? Needing to be the best student, needing to get the A's, needing to, you know, these are very smart driven women. And we were rewarded, you know, we got the gold star. So of course we're gonna push harder and push harder. And that's built into our school systems, our work systems. You know, we talk about climbing the ladder. Um, you know, it's it's that upward work, you know, we talk about upward morability. It's it's in our language. And yet again, there's there's some really built-in imbalances. Uh, I know they did a survey a while ago of looking at um professorships at universities and the same, you know, positions, typically, you know, men earned a dollar and women earned 80 cents. And that was built into the actual roles, even though they're identical roles. So there's there's some definite, you know, feeling that there's additional hardships already built into the system. And if nobody shines a light on those disparities, then you we just carry on. And so you don't realize you're doing more work for less pay than maybe your counterpart, which is very frustrating, I'm sure, for a lot of women as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Well, what's the difference between simply taking a break and restoring uh versus restoring your energy and sense of purpose?

SPEAKER_02 12:54

It's uh definitely like uh going on vacation uh gives you that break, but it doesn't change the pattern or the habits. It's you know, as if you were looking to lose weight. And so for you know, a month you eat salads, and then slowly you go back to it and you're like, oh, I'm just gonna, you know, pick up something from the vending machine, and you slowly slip into those bad habits, and sure enough, and a month later you're back to feeling unhealthy again. And the issue with taking a break versus making changes in your habits is I always talk about recovering from burnout because unless you change your patterns, your habits, you are going to land yourself in the same place. You are gonna land those extra hours and sign up for all the committees. And basically, yeah, it doesn't matter if you took a break, if you end up back in the same bad habits that landed you in that burned out, stressed out straight. So a lot of what I do with women is start building boundaries and giving yourself permission to say no. Because if you can't take that moment to pause and decide if you truly want to do what's being asked of you, and whether you even have bandwidth to do it, you're gonna land yourself back in the same situation that led out to the burnout and feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Can you share a story of someone who used your creative approach uh and how they created a a meaningful shelf in their stress, confidence, and clarity?

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Definitely. Uh I it's funny, I do a lot of follow-up calls to sort of ask, you know, what would have prevented you from working with me? And one common thing that comes up is feeling that I don't have enough time. This is another item on my to-do list. Where am I gonna find time, you know, even if it's once a week to draw these things and come back and discuss them? And yet they felt it was that accountability. I've agreed to do this activity, I'm gonna take time to do it, and I'm gonna talk about it. And what's interesting is after going through uh the coaching program with me is that they got the time back. In fact, they learned how to say no, they learned how to delegate, they learned that they don't need to do everything. And so by just taking time for themselves to sort of analyze what they want, what do they truly want to do, you know, or being able to ask for help, right? Like, can you ask your husband to make dinner once a night or drive the kids? Can you ask your mom to look after the kids? Can you pay for a house cleaner to come in every two weeks so you don't feel that you need to do everything on the weekend? But again, unless you feel that you can take that time and move it somewhere else, you're always gonna feel like time is limited for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Well, what message do what would you have for women who uh are carrying too much? Uh what what would you want them to uh consider when it comes to their their purpose, work, and the way that they pursue success going forward?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Definitely I would ask them to think about what what lights them up. You know, what what do they wish they had more of in their life? And a lot of times it can be just, I haven't had any time to myself. I haven't had a chance to pick up a book, I haven't had a chance to go for a walk. I, you know, we we talk about self-care being bubble baths and so on, but it's more than that. It is literally picking something that you enjoy for yourself and and not feeling like you need to justify it to anyone else. Because if you don't take that time to sort of fill yourself up with whatever it is, maybe it's you know, designing the perfect garden and you just don't let yourself do it. You're like, oh, I'll get to that eventually, maybe when I'm retired. But if you took time to do it now, you'd get to enjoy it now, and you'd probably, you know, have a bit more happiness in your life as you look for something that gives you some enjoyment. And that's, you know, it's gonna be different for every woman, but definitely something that comes up is giving yourself time to figure out what you enjoy because a lot of times we've pushed it down so far, we've forgotten. Um, you know, or again, we've changed, we've evolved. You know, what we enjoyed in our 20s, we may not enjoy in our 30s or 40s or 50s, right? So it's again taking time to kind of learn who you are and what you've turned into as well as you've gone through life. But you need to take time to think about it. And that's a big time, is that intent to pause and and take time for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Well, tell us about any upcoming projects that you're working on that people need to be aware of.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Well, definitely I always like to have a resource that uh people can, you know, get a flavor of my creative wellness coaching. Um, on my website, my my it's at mind art wellness, and I have a five-day creative reset challenge, and it's easy to sign up for. You get an email for five days with a link to a little video of me doing an activity, and then there's some prompts to sort of lead you through some um self-reflection, and that'll lead you to my newsletter that comes out once a week as well, the Creative Shift, with uh again, more suggestions on tips of things that will help you become more mindful, more creative, and you know, healthy, wealthy and wise, hopefully at the end of it. So, yeah, I have lots of resources on my website. Um, and then people can reach out for coaching with me as well.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

And what was that website again?

SPEAKER_02 19:04

It's mindartwellness.com. Got it.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

So close us out with some final thoughts. Maybe if that was something I forgot to talk about that you would like to touch on, or any final thoughts you have for the listeners.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Definitely I would encourage everybody to just, you know, it's okay to have boundaries. It's okay to say no. And, you know, if you don't look after yourself, it's gonna be really hard to look after others. So, you know, don't feel it's being selfish to have that self-care because it's gonna help everyone else in your life if you look after yourself.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

All right, ladies and gentlemen, for more information or to participate in Lexi's creativity program, visit mindartwellness.com. Mindartwellness.com, follow rate review, share this episode to as many people as possible, especially if you yourself or somebody you know is experiencing burnout or they feel overwhelmed or that they're caring too much. I would also like you to share www.curveball337.com and also share the show to everybody that you know. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. And Lexi, thank you for all that you do to make the world a better place, and thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

That's been my pleasure. Thanks for the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

For more information on the Living the Dream with Curveball Podcast, visit www.curveball337.com. Until next time, keep living the dream.