Transforming Pain into Purpose: Ioannis Skiotes' Mission to Inspire Mental Health Awareness

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Living the Dream Kennes with Curve Bum. If you believe, you can achieve. Welcome to the Living the Dream with Curve Bumble Podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate, and inspire. Today's guest is Yanni Sciotis. He is a mental health survivor, author, and speaker who has lived through experiences that most people can barely imagine. Yanni spent two years in a state mental health facility, and he said that he was misdiagnosed and overly medicated. And Yanni is the author of the book, Living with Manic Depression, as he has taken his pain and trauma and the experiences that he went through to help others living with manic depression. So we're going to be talking to Yanni about his book and his experience and everything that he's up to and gonna be up to. So Yanni, thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Oh well, um, I'm a teacher. Uh I've taught all levels of school. I am also a screenwriter, and I just authored my first book. It's a novella, it's not really a full novel uh on my experiences living with manic depression. And um, so I wrote that to help others because along the way I found a method that works for me. So, and right now I'm uh also an adjunct film writing teacher at a university. And I'm gonna I'm gonna retire from high school teaching at the end of May.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Oh, well, congratulations on that.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Well, let's talk about your your experience inside the state mental institution. Uh, what what moments stood out to you that that were the hardest to survive mentally and emotionally?

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Well, quite a few. Um, because when you uh go to a state mental institution, I was hearing voices. I got so bad mentally, I was hearing voices, I had no insurance, no health insurance. Therefore, I'm a big advocate of national health insurance because to go without it, you're not going to get very good treatment. And in the state place, I got some of the worst. And the drugs they fed me were wrong. When I got out, I seen a doctor in the private industry, and he got my records uh from the state institution, and he just shook his head. He said, I've been doing this 30 years, and I've never read or encountered anything like this. How did you survive? And I told him, I said, Well, really, I didn't. It was faith that got me through this at the end of the day. He said, They treated you for every wrong illness imaginable, gave you drugs for illnesses that don't even exist by modern medical standards. He said, I just haven't seen or read anything like this. It's amazing you survived two years of this. Because you get fed those drugs four times a day, they're psychiatric drugs, and you're taking your drugs. I mean, I got a scar over my eye uh where one time I did not take them, and I got hit by a security guard and strapped down in uh restraints, and they shoot it in you. So you're taking your drugs, you might as well just get in line and take your drugs. And about 15 to 20 minutes after you take them, when it dissolves and hits your bloodstream, you're gonna go through side effects. And when you're taking the wrong psychiatric drugs, all the side effects are negative. And you're usually on more than one drug. So the side effects are not multiplicative, they're exponential. So, for example, if you got taking two drugs and they only have 10 side effects each, which is never that's way more than 10 each. But let's just say it's 10 each for this example. It's not 10 times two, it's 10 to the 10th power of the side effects that's gonna hit you, and you don't know which one it's gonna be or which ones. So you're scared, and then you know, sometimes I was hallucinated in there, and you're seeing things and seeing demons, and it was, you know, it was a horrific experience. And one caused my heart arrhythmia, a drug called Millaril. And uh, so I had AFib, I carried apib for 37 years, and because I have good health insurance now, I was able to get a heart ablation and get rid of it, but I could have died, and eventually that drug was taken off the market because it caused apib, and so they got rid of Melaril. But during my time in there in 79 and 80 to 81, um, they had it. They that was one of the drugs they fed me, and but also, you know, besides that, I mean, you're living in fear because of those drugs. I mean, there's convicts in there that went to places like Marion, where Gandhi went in Menard, which is a really vicious place in Illinois as well. And they'd rather be back in those places than in this institution taking these drugs. That's how scared they were. Because I heard them, I seen them, I heard them, and we talked, and and uh, you know, but also there's light. There was a young man in there named Denny, and he was in there 10 years, he was taking Haldol and Thorzine. Now, Thorzine is what they use to drug up boxers in the 50s, and you're like a zombie. You take a hit of Thorazine and you could forget it, man. You're you know, you're you're knocked out. And they they'd go in there and fight it with her and cross ring just whacked the guy and he's out cold. He was taking both these. These are some of the most vicious drugs you can take. Way worse than what I was taking. And somehow this man remembered computer operations. Because I used to be a computer programmer, he knew the commands after taking these drugs for years. I said, wow, if he can survive this, maybe so can I. And the drugs are really heinous, uh, especially when they're wrong for you. There was a friend of mine in high school, he went on to be a very successful businessman, but when he was young, he took every drug from heroin to marijuana, and he didn't miss a one. And he also sold drugs. His name was Scotty, and he seen me one time, and I was able to slip one of the drugs I was taking, and he he took it, went home, took it, and he contacted me the next day or so, and he said, Man, what in the hell are they giving you? That that stuff knocked me out for for a day. I said, That's nothing. I take that four days, top four times a day. He said, Oh my god, you got to get the hell out of there. And, you know, unfortunately, um I I couldn't, because I had no health insurance, and it was more or less a ward of the state at that time. And I blamed my brother at first, and I regretted that and was later apologized, and he gave me forgiveness. And uh he warned me, said they told me you're gonna do that. So he was prepared, but still, um the things you go through are just horrific, and that was an impetus um to write about my experiences because when you're taking wrong psychiatric drugs, these drugs are very powerful. It's not like you're taking an aspirin, and they might as well be illegal because they're not right for you, and um, you know, so like I said, I got heart arrhythmia out of there and uh nearly died. So I was lucky that I got out, and once I did get out, over time I developed a six-point method, how to live peacefully with this incurable condition. Because you will always have it, and they warned me, they said you'll always have it. It's then the matter now is how do you live with it? And there's no way in hell I was gonna take drugs. No, I was just dead set against that. So, over time, like I said, I developed a plan that works for me. And I'm not a licensed health expert or anything, but it's worked for me, and I shared it with others, and it and a few of them told me it works for them as well.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Tell us about that six point, please.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Okay. Well, the thing is, manic depression is all about negativity. So you combat that with positivity because that's you know, that's the opposite of negativity. So the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning, I'm prayerful, grateful, and hopeful. That God's graced me with another day, at least part of a day. So that's the first thing I do is give thanks to God and prayerful, grateful, and hopeful. Then I go through about a five-minute ritual. I do my daily prayers. Again, all this reinforces positivity of your spirit, of your mind. Okay. And then I tell myself a little saying it was on a priest's card at my first father confessor. He had a little saying at the left-hand corner of his card. Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Therefore, you will not be too overjoyed in times of good fortune, nor too sorrowful in times of misfortune. That gives me balance, that gives me mental balance. So, right away, now I'm going to be more on an even keel. Because manic depression or bipolar type one in my case, as hospitalized, is all about eccentricities. So being balanced avoids those eccentric sways. And another lesson I learned when I was getting ill, I wasn't eating and sleeping right. And that's a symptom of manic depression. I call it, others call it bipolar, but I call it manic depression, and because of its eccentricities. And I always make it a point to eat well and rest well, because that was where I first started getting off balance when I wasn't eating right. And then, you know, I rest when my body tells me to rest. Now I'm fortunate, I'm single, I'm not married, or I have kids, so I can afford to do this. Some people are in situations where they can't, but when my body tells me to rest, I rest. Because again, that lack of sleep, that imbalance of eating and sleeping, that will cause you to slide. And when you're a manic depression, that's a very dangerous tightrope to walk. And then I have another saying, when I do get out of balance, when I do get angry, I do get um on my eccentricities, it's a passage from the Bible. When Saint Peter told Christ to not go through with the crucifixion, Christ said in the Hellenic, it's written, Pisamu Satanah, which translates to away from me, Satan. Not that Peter was Satan, but his words were satanic. Because if there's no crucifixion, there's no resurrection. And without a resurrection, we have no chance of Zoe or eternal life. So he had to go through with it. So when those when I get attacked with negativity or get angry or get attacked with eccentricities, I put my index fingers together in the form of a cross and push them out and just say, Pisamu Satana. And that right away squashes that negativity my mind's going through. It's like a little jolt, and and it tells me, okay, get balanced, get centered. Because you're going to get attacked. The thing with uh manic depression, you can be feeling great. And all of a sudden, you know, wham, you get out of nowhere, you get whacked, and all of a sudden you're down on the dumps and you feel like you're gonna kill yourself and you're angry at the world. But also with manic depression, you got to worry about the highs. I mean, everybody talks about the lows, but you know, also manic depression involves the highs. I went through a bankruptcy because I went nuts on credit cards. So now I got a policy, and it's you know, kind of joking in a way, but if it's a hundred dollars or more, I don't buy it. I do not do impulsive buy-in. I'll think about it, get it the next day. And I do that with everything because the eccentricity high got me into trouble financially because I'd go on a high and start buying things and binging, and ended up, like I said, filing bankruptcy. So again, you have to prepare yourself from the weapons uh of medic depression because they carry their own weapons that all aim to attack you to bring you down. Those are some of the things I do to ward off um highs and lows.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Well, how how did uh your experience shape the way that you view mental health treatment today?

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Well, like I said, I I I wasn't about to go back to those institutions because I remember a a girl that worked there, she told me, she said, Yanni, because I seen a lot of those people come back. I was in there two years, and I seen a lot of those people come back, they leave and they come back. And she told me, she said, this time, wait till you have to come back. And I told my brother when we left, I said, I would rather die than come back to this place. So I made it a point to always prepare myself to be mentally balanced um so I don't return. Because that's that gets even worse when you go back another time because that means you failed the first time. So, in a way, fear is also a great motivator.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

What was the turning point when you decided to transform your pain and the purpose and start helping others?

SPEAKER_00 16:16

When I look back on things, you know, Curtis, I I said, Well, wait a minute, you know, this is working for me. I've survived all these experiences, and then it's kind of like Maslow's hierarchy, you reach the last step, you want to help somebody else. So I decided to um write a book on it, and therefore, as an impetus, to see if I can maybe help someone else, because believe me, nobody helped me. I mean, those drugs certainly didn't help me, you know. Thank God I had my brother for for support and um and that, and some people don't even have that. Uh, like Denny, the kid I was telling you about Denny, he hit nobody. And so, you know, they're they're they're worse than me. So I I had friends that supported me, so I was lucky, I was very fortunate. So I figured, well, let's write this book because this this method's working for me and my experiences are rather unique, and and I stand up for them uh for mental health. A lot of times mental health is shunned. I mean, oh, don't talk about it, you know, sweep it underneath the carpet. And thank you, slowly that's changing. But during my era, you know, like I had relatives tell me, oh no, you shouldn't talk about it, you know, you know, people are gonna call you crazy and all that stuff. I said, hell, let them call me crazy. So what? They're not paying my bills, you know, and they can do whatever they want. That's their ignorance. And then um, an incident happened in Las Vegas, too. Uh I went there for, I was a big Roberto Durant fan. I wrote a book on him, and unfortunately, or a movie script rather, but unfortunately, somebody else made me get the money. But anyway, I went to his uh fight with Tommy Hearns, and the the day of the fight, like 2 a.m. in the morning, Jack Nicholson came to this bar, uh La Barge. It was a bar there in Caesars. And uh I said, Oh wow, that's my best friend who stood by me this whole time, my best friend, and that's his favorite actor. So, you know, I grabbed a pen and a napkin and went over there to get his autograph. His bodyguards stopped me. He said, I just want to get an autograph. So he let me by and he gave me the autograph, and then he he sneered at me and he he tapped me on the cheek and said, Get a shave. Very derogatory. So I went back to the bar where the Latin friends, friends of Durand, and I looked at the autograph, I said, Man, no, no way in the hell am I putting up with this? You've gotta be kidding me. So I went right back at him and they stopped me and he let me in. I said, Hey, uh remember that movie, you know, he made made you a big star, put a lot of money in your pocket, you know, cuckoo's nest. And he looked at me real strange and he just nodded his head and said, Yeah. I said, Yeah, I remember it too. Because I was in the cuckoo's nest when I saw it. And I tapped him on the cheek and said, That movie ain't nothing compared to the real deal. And I crumpled his autograph and threw it against his chest and it hit the floor harmlessly. I just walked away. And he stared at me for 10 minutes. He just kept looking at me with his mouth open. But you know, the whole point of that was I'm not letting anybody try to, you know, sneer or put down or anything, especially a guy like that who made millions of a people like me. Because of people like me, he made millions. And to sit there and be derogatory toward me, now nationally, he didn't know who I was, what I went through, but he sure and hell found out. And uh, and he looked at me for a long time. I I have a had a producer friend who unfortunately died last year, but he knew Nicholson. He said, No, Yanni, he remembered you that night. I guarantee you, he's actually a very sensitive person. And you can bet he remembered you that night for sure. So, you know, Curtis, my whole point being is don't let people stigmatize you because there's a great horrific stigma with mental illness, and it's negative, but things are slowly changing, or people are realizing that hey, you know, you you contract an illness, you didn't commit a crime, so why all this negativity? And and so, you know, it's um you got people now like this idiot in the White House committing crimes left and right and goes unpunished. And so here that they they knock people who are mentally ill, who have nothing but did but contract an illness, and it's very hard to get cured because only 20% of your mind at most is known. So they're like you know, Stevie One with blindfolds on in a dark room trying to find a light switch. Good luck. That's why most of it fails. But there is hope, so you gotta you gotta you gotta keep hope, like the saying, hope springs eternal. But for me, staying positive when you get attacked is the key, and you have to find ways to stay positive.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Yeah, and the Jack Nicholson question was the next question I was gonna ask you, but uh talk about how you separate your role as an experienced uh life uh speaker. I'm sorry what's coach? Talk about how you separate your role as being a experienced life speaker and coach, you know, because you actually went through the real world experience from the uh mental health license uh, you know, mental health people. How do you separate that role?

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Yeah, I'm not I'm not a licensed expert or anything, obviously. I'm just a life experienced survivor, but I just keep it at that. I, you know, first thing I tell the people is that, hey, look, I'm not licensed in mental health. I'm just speaking from my experiences and what worked for me, and maybe it can work for you, or you can adjust it, modify it, use parts of it, or find new ways that work for you. Because everybody's mind is different. You know, like I said, only 20% of the mind is known at best. At best, so they don't really know what they're doing either. Those doctors and experts, they don't know what they're doing either. So, you know, I mean, look at the one of the great serial killers, Ted Bundy. You know, on the outside, perfectly normal. Yet here he is, he's going killing over 50 women. It doesn't add up. So when I meet with others who want to meet with me about it, or I can get in discussions with it, this is just what works for me. I'm sharing it with you, and hopefully it can trigger ideas or uses that could work for you. And that is uh that is how I keep it. And so I use the experience. But I package it such as that this is what works for me, it may or may not work for you. Therefore, it gives the other person the creativity. Because what you don't want to do is be preachy, or you know, you gotta do A, B, and C. No, you don't. It's it's many roads lead to Rome, as the old saying goes. So find the way that works for you, and maybe this will help. Maybe you can modify it, or whatever. And my first breakthrough came with a a young guy in England. We were um discussing this through the uh online stuff, and he was in a facility currently there in England, in London. And so he wrote me later after we talked and everything. He said, Man, you know, this works for me too. And I said, Well, good, brother. I'm glad it's glad it helped you. So, you know, it's just a way of my of paying it forward, so to say, or paying it back of you want to help others, because I know what that suffering is like. I know what that, you know, mental health illness is about, manic depression, because I live it. And you get a chance to help someone else, you you grasp it. So then I started seeing these podcasts and stuff about mental health, and I really didn't even know they existed, to be honest with you, Curtis. But I just started exploring it more. I said, Well, you know, let's see if I can't get on there, maybe it can spread the word more to help others. So that's how it evolved. And my my goal is to get into more speaking engagements. Um, because I see all these speakers out there, and I said, Hell, I can do that. I got a story to tell too.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Yeah, and you're doing a great job at telling your story. Talk about the uh biggest misconceptions that you see uh that people have when it comes to manic depression and bipolar related illnesses.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Well, then look at you as you like you're strange, you know, as um, you know, you got some kind of a heinous disease, and you don't, you know, but because it's the mind, it's not physical. And I'm not putting anybody down here when I say this, but you know, people that survive cancer, and God bless them, and I hope, you know, I never get it. I wish upon nobody. My brother's a prostate cancer survivor, and so my other brother, older, oldest brother, he died of of lung cancer. So it's a it's a vicious disease, it's a physical disease. A mental illness is just that, it's not tangible, you can't see it. You know, people don't relate to it because it it doesn't come out like physical illnesses do. So therefore, there's this unknown essence to it, and that scares people. Oh, he's mentally ill. The term is negative, the term conjures negativity. So I'm mentally ill. So, what do you think about? Think about serial killers, rapists, you know, all these crazy people. But really, mental illness is not eccentric for all. You know, try to tell me Mike Tyson's not manic depressant. You know, good luck on that one. But you know, Mike's not a bad person. Yeah, he has anger issues at times, so what? And you know, and he had to deal with it. I mean, who who who goes out and blows 30 million? And they as soon as they get out of prison, you know, that that's manic depression. Who wraps a car around a tree? You know, that's manic depression. Even one of his wives was saying that. Um, she was a doctor or something, but he's not a bad guy, he's he's not a bad person. So there are most people, and I'm just using him as one of an example. I'm not a bad person, but yet during my era, you know, I had relatives saying, you shouldn't talk about it, you talk about it. I said, why not? I'm glad I overcame it. I send people in there that are not gonna overcome it. I mean, God could have picked me not to overcome it. Why should I listen to you? I'd fight back with my relatives. I said, You never suffered it. You don't know what it's like, so why should I listen to you? You're the last person I'm gonna take advice from. So, you know, they didn't like me saying that, but I'm not gonna let nobody just um put me down because I have a uh a condition. And the thing, too, with this, that people gotta realize or people that have it, you're never cured. That young girl, she wasn't even a doctor. She gave me the best advice, better than any of those doctors in there did, or psychiatrists, whatever they want to call themselves. Uh, psychiatrists bed you drugs, psychologists talk to you. But anyway, um, neither one of them did me any good. But the girl did me a lot of good. She was just uh an aide there, a worker. She told me about make sure you eat right, you sleep right, you don't want to come back here. And she also told me, remember, you're not cured when you leave here. You will carry this the rest of your life. The difference is, can you manage it so you don't come back here? And she was correct, big time. That woman did me more help than anyone in that facility. And I'll never forget her her wailing on December 8th, 1980, was when John Lennon got shot. And oh my god, that she she she cry and just wail. I mean, this piercing scream of a whale. I mean, that shakes me right now when I think about it. But she was a sensitive woman, she was a good person, and she helped others. So these memories serve me well, as opposed to people saying, Oh, it's behind you, forget about it. No, when you have that attitude, you're on your way to return because it's never over. You have to fight the battles daily, and some battles are greater than others, and there's times go by that you don't feel depressed at all. But when you do, and you're gonna, you gotta know how to attack it. I mean, that's like you know, going into warfare without a gun. You know, you better have a gun ready because you're gonna get shot at. So it's the same, and that analogy is the same thing here is when you have manic depression or bipolar, whatever we want to label it, you need to have a way to conquer it, to combat it. And for me, I've got my six-point method, and I use it, and you know, it it helps me when I get attacked, because I you could see that attack coming on, you could feel it, because it's an illness in the mind, and you feel it. Whereas letting these people that never experienced it and just following social stigmatisms that fit in, like, okay, fine, I'm not a mentally ill person. One third of America suffers from some form of depression, one out of three. So I have it, you don't have it, let's say, and someone else out there listening don't have it. One out of three. The next three listening, one of them's got it. So the the idea is how severe is it? Not if, but how severe. So if you go in there unprepared, you're gonna get your ass kicked. So, you know, you better have a some form. For some people, um, you know, like Mike Tyson, he relaxes. I heard him in an interview, he does mushrooms in marijuana. That helps him. You know, a friend of mine is the same way, he takes mushrooms in marijuana to help his um mental imbalance when he gets too excited or he's anxious or depressed or whatever. It helps him. You know, look at the movie uh what's love got to do with it, where uh um the actress won the academy uh portraying Tina Turner. She used prayers, Buddhist prayers that got her through. So everybody's got their own methods of dealing with it. For me, I have mine, and uh others, you know, Angela Bassett, she won the Academy of Worker portraying Tina Turner and what's love got to do with it. You don't think she wasn't going through some mental hell? The way Ike was training her, oh please. Her, those Buddhist chants and hymns gave her solace, gave her peace of mind. Because that's the most precious thing you can have is peace of the heart. And to attain that is not easy. So that's how I I deal with the social stigmatism. I don't pay no mind, I refute it, I fight back from it because it's not it's not warranted, it's not true, and nobody has to put up with it.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Well, they'll watch your contact info so people can keep up with everything that you're up to.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Um, well, I'm on social media. Um, I'm on Facebook. Uh, my name is rather unique, Ioanis Yodis. Um, I have a website, iwanisyotis.com. My name is spelled I-O-A-N-N-I-S. And last name is spelled S-K-I-O-T-E-S. And then I got my website, iwanisyotis.com. I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, so I'm on the social media if anybody would like to get in contact with me. And my email is the letter I for my first name, and then N for Nicholas, and then Ciotis last name, S-K-I-O-T-E-S at gmail.com. But they can also reach me through the email on my uh website, iwaniciotis.com as well.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

All right. I won't attempt to pronounce that name, but I will let the listeners know that that website address will be in the show notes. Close the video.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

Yeah, thank you. And uh yeah, it's Yanni for short, and also my book, Living with Manic Depression. If everybody's interested in buying it, it's only like a few dollars. It's available on Amazon, both as a um digital copy and a hardcover. I think it's only like five bucks for the digital and ten for the hard or something like that. So it's pretty low cost. And if they wanted to buy it, um, it's on Amazon.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Absolutely. So close us out with some final thoughts, maybe if that was something I forgot to talk about that you would like to touch on, or any final thoughts you have for the listeners.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Well, to listeners, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for Curtis for having me on your podcast. And to them, also stay positive. If you're out there and you have any form of manic depression or bipolar, um don't succumb to it. Fight it. You'll win. If you keep fighting it, you'll wear it out. It won't wear you out. So my advice is stay positive and keep fighting. And you know, you'll get a good day too. And when you get a good day, embrace it.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

All right, ladies and gentlemen. So visit Yanni's website, check out his book. Uh, if you know of anybody out there struggling with mental illness or anything like that, please follow Rate Review, share this episode to as many people as possible. Also, to keep up with all things live in the dream, to leave us a review, a comment, fan mail that might actually be played on the show. And to sign up for the newsletter if you are if you haven't already done so. Visit www.curveball337.com and please share the website and the show to everybody you know. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. And Yanni, thank you for being so uh brave to share your story. Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

Thank you. Oh, thanks again, and thanks to you uh for having me on. And if you can, uh Curtis, when you so enter it and whatever, if you could send it to me, I'll put it on uh my um website.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Yep, we would do. For more information on the Living the Dream with Curve Mama Pomac, visit www.curbbumba337.com. Until next time, keep living the dream.